When someone asks how you’re doing, is your typical response “I’m tired,” even if you don’t say it out loud? I’ve been there.
I used to think that getting “enough” sleep or having the “perfect” regimen of exercise, bedtime routine, work-life balance, and screen time meant that I wouldn’t feel as exhausted. I believed that if I did it all “right” by others’ standards, I’d have all the energy in the world. And as you may expect, that was very wrong.
We’re not just physically depleted, but we’re emotionally and mentally bogged down. Sleep is not the solution for feeling like there’s never enough time to do what we need or want. Naps won’t fix how uncertain or chaotic life feels. Having more work-life balance doesn’t mean we automatically feel fulfilled and aligned in every way. A perfect daily routine can’t magically fill us with the peace we’re craving.
So, what can we do to not feel as tired all the time?
Although there’s no magic button to feeling more energized, we can begin to understand what matters most to us and recognize the type of tired we’re feeling so we can know how to fill ourselves up and rest.
A few years ago, I was introduced to a framework that helped me finally understand what kind of rest I was missing – the seven types of rest. Although this is not my concept, it has given me clarity in a way I never expected.
If you’re a visual person, picture these types as seven buckets with a small hole on the bottom, with the water slowly draining as time passes. Because it’s hard to keep watch on every single bucket, we naturally gravitate towards two or three that we focus on more intentionally. We spend our time filling those few buckets up and can forget about the others. And when we finally notice that several of them are low or empty, we can feel overwhelmed because it seems impossible to fill them all up at the same time, on top of everything else we need to do in our lives.
Our job is to know what the seven different buckets or types are, identify when one or more are feeling depleted, and have a few go-to ways to fill them back up. It’s not something we memorize, but something we simply become aware of so it’s in our back pocket when we need it.
The Types of Rest
Instead of just saying “I’m tired” and assuming the solution to our exhaustion is a nap or more sleep, use these seven categories of rest to identify which areas you feel like you need “more” of.
The types of rest are: physical, social, creative, sensory, spiritual, emotional, and mental.
Take a look at the below depiction of these types, and consider which areas you haven’t thought about in a while.
After we name which category our exhaustion most connects to, we can dig deeper into what we’re truly feeling. Instead of saying we feel tired or we feel out of it, we can reword that to “I’m feeling lonely” or “I’ve been so serious lately – I miss feeling playful.” It helps us pinpoint what is at the root of what we’re feeling, leading us to more effectively fill up the appropriate bucket.
Filling the Buckets
When I first learned about the seven types of rest, I felt a bit of relief and hope. I was feeling very burned out from work and had some underlying health issues with little to no answers. This language gave me a glimpse of hope during a season where I was struggling and couldn’t take a break.
My first step was to make a “cheat sheet” for myself. It included what each type of rest meant and the behaviors I can do to fill each of those buckets up. I used the resources at the bottom of this post to define each area, and added things that I loved into the list. For example, I added names of people who I feel like I can truly be myself with to know who I wanted to schedule time with, so I felt more socially rested. I added some examples of what I could do to feel creatively energized – coloring books, Legos, paint by number sets, and pottery classes. And contrary to what you might think, I added walks in nature to my list for physical rest, since gentle movement can actually re-energize you.
How This Changed My Life (& How It Can Change Yours)
As I became aware of what buckets needed filling in my life, I took small steps to make positive deposits in each of those areas. I noticed over time that I felt stronger and more content with my life. I had language and understanding of what mattered most to me and I could easily make small choices to feel better, especially when burned out from work.
I prioritized connecting with my closest people more, having fun and playing, and removing the invisible chains I had to screens, social media, and productivity. Because I knew what mattered most to me and I consciously made effort to boost those parts of my life, I was slowly building a life I loved, not one I felt stuck in.
This is not a “life hack” to make you feel magically more energized. This is not designed to give you a false sense of control. This is a tool to help you have language on how to support yourself in moments where you need it most. At the same time, it helps you give yourself grace – instead of shaming yourself for being “so tired” or something being wrong with you, you can change your language to be more accurate, like “I could really use some friendship time right now” or “I need a break from screens this week.”
Life is tough. We can’t control a lot of what we experience, but we can be intentional about what we focus on. I hope that this tool helps you gain clarity on what matters most to you, notice what needs attention and grace when you feel most depleted, and tend to what you need in that season.
The next time you catch yourself saying “I’m tired” and wondering what’s wrong with you for not feeling more energized, I hope you pause and ask a more curious question: What kind of rest do I actually need right now?
Some of my favorite resources on the types of rest:
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