Growing up a sports fan, I’ve heard the term “rebuilding year” often. (As a Baltimore sports fan, we’ve used this term a lot when referring to our beloved Orioles in the past, but that’s a rant for a different day.) This term typically refers to a situation where a team experiences a “low” or is in a season of transition. The expectation is not winning, but rather “getting by” to experience long-term success or growth.

Have you ever felt like you had a season where you were in a “rebuilding time”? One where you feel like you have little to no ability for getting any wins, you’re barely getting by in the moment, or you solely need to focus on long-term improvement in an area of your life?

You’re not alone in this regard. The year of 2024 was a rebuilding year for me. I experienced grief, loss, and pain in 2023, which carried into 2024, and then had even more this year. I also experienced great blessings, deepened relationships, and refreshing clarity in 2024. This season of self-improvement, prioritizing, aligning, and vulnerability has been immensely challenging, but I feel confident that it’s helped me become a better version of myself.

Here’s what my rebuilding year of 2024 taught me:

1. There is no way past trauma without going through it. This year, I learned this through a lot of tears, reflection, prayer, and therapy. My grief and trauma seemed gone in early 2024, but hit me in the middle of the year in a way I never saw coming. As much as I tried to push it down and pretend like I was totally fine, it became evident to the people closest to me that I was not alright. After admitting my struggles, working with a professional, putting focus on my honesty in my relationships, and integrating healthy habits into my life, things got much better. But it was not easy…it has been one of the most difficult experiences of my life.
   
   However, pretending like I was alright and healed was hurting me, my relationships, and my future self. I’m really thankful that I have people and resources to help me work through such challenging situations and relationships.
   
2. Stepping away from situations that no longer serve you is one of the most freeing things you can do for yourself. This can take the shape of friendships, volunteer commitments, jobs, subscriptions to services, or whatever you are committed to here and now. I have put a lot of effort into quieting the noise through less email subscriptions, saving money by pausing or removing subscriptions, having a day or a few hours without my phone each week or month, journaling on what my gut is telling me, and stepping out of organizations that were unhealthy for me.
   
   It’s so easy to get caught up in the noise of our world, and it’s hard to understand what we really want. But once we get quiet and figure that out, having the courage to say “no” and step out of situations that aren’t right for us right now can feel impossible. I did this in a big way in 2024, especially related to my commitments outside of work, and I feel incredibly lighter because of it. It’s thrilling that I am creating the life that I want through this process, rather than what others expect of me.
   
3. My relationship with myself is critical, but it’s also challenging. This year, I realized that I question my self-worth a lot unconsciously. This has been perplexing for me to work through since I feel that my self-confidence has been a strength, but I realized that I feel most confident in my professional life rather than my personal life. I saw this come to life by questioning if I’m capable of being happy, feeling incapable of asking others for help because I didn’t think I was worth it, and struggling to maintain community because I didn’t want to burden others with my problems. I’ve spent the last few months questioning where these underlying beliefs came from, challenging when they show up in my life and relationships, and trying to build a more positive relationship with myself.
   
   A few things have helped me with this, including writing daily affirmations, a ritual of Mel Robbins’s method of high-fiving yourself, mapping out what the Bible says about my limiting beliefs, writing new soundtracks (using Jon Acuff’s book as a guide), and talking with a professional.
   
   One of my favorite things that has helped me with this is a bit unconventional. In order to feel most loved and peaceful, I picture Jesus sitting next to me and simply grabbing my hand to hold it. Sometimes I picture Him saying something, sometimes I don’t. But I know I am deeply loved by Him, and I feel most cherished when I remember that He loves me not for what I do, but for who I am through Him. This might help you, but you can also picture yourself as a small child to be proud of yourself for how far you’ve come or giving that version of yourself what you needed.
   
   In general, it’s important to create a mindset that gives yourself grace and confidence. I am learning every day how to do that, and hope you can do that for yourself as well.

And to wrap up this reflection of 2024, here are some game-changing resources in my life & some reflection questions to help you become your best you…

Resources that helped me this year:

• Soundtracks by Jon Acuff
• Mel Robbins Podcast
• Live Your Values Card Deck
• ReThinking Podcast by Adam Grant
• Secure Love by Julie Menanno
• Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets by Andy Stanley
• The School of Greatness Podcast by Lewis Howes
• The Love Your Life Project: 40 Days to Prioritize Your Passions, Cultivate Productive Habits, and Refuel with Times of Rest by Karen Ehman and Ruth Schwenk
• Draw Your Future concept by Patti Dobrowolski (watch the TED Talk here)
• Daily Check In Journal by Form
• That Sounds Fun Podcast with Annie F. Downs
• The “Unsubscribe” button on lots of emails + subscriptions 🙂
• My financial advisor

Questions to become your best self:

1. How would you describe your 2024? What were the defining moments? What did you learn about yourself?
2. How would you describe your relationship with yourself? How do you build this positively?
3. What resources have helped you in your most challenging seasons?