We all hear about how exciting graduation is and how completing your collegiate career is a huge feat, but the conversation about what follows graduation seems to get quieter. Transitioning into your career and first job can be full of challenges, but it’s seemingly impossible to understand precisely why it’s so difficult until you experience it yourself. People feel it in different ways based on their own journeys and experiences, but it’s apparent that everyone struggles at least a little bit in the transition from college to career.

Jacob, my friend who just entered the workforce after graduating in the fall of 2018, shared his thoughts with me about what he’s feeling amidst the chapter-turning stage of his life. I shared some of what I had gone through about two years ago when I graduated and the months since, but I thought he had a powerful way of describing what we’ve gone through. It’s been a rollercoaster of emotion since our college graduations, but we hope that sharing our stories will help put words to what you may be feeling/have felt or will encourage you.

(Disclaimer: this by no means is us “humble bragging” about how we did a lot in college, but rather is an honest and raw look at our personal journeys that we hope resonates with you in some way, small or large.)

 

The Recovering Overachiever

Feeling Like a “Big Fish in a Little Pond”

In college, we did everything. Yes, we were “those” people. We traveled around the country for miscellaneous opportunities, were in multiple clubs or organizations, helped our families when we could on our farms, sometimes worked part-time jobs, and were full-time students. For us, this meant being a “yes” person, always helping out when possible, going to extra efforts to make things work, and being a reliable person whom others looked to for answers or guidance.

By the end of college, we were confident about who we were, what we were involved in, and the sphere we were living/working in because we were so in-tune with our community and involvements. In a sense, we were almost like “big fish in a little pond” and felt comfortable about the lives we had created for ourselves throughout college. We could answer most questions we were asked, and if we didn’t know, we knew whom to get the answer from.

Looking back, we could be described as “overachievers” for doing too much, but in all honesty, that felt natural and comfortable to us. As people who yearn to help others, becoming a “yes” person was just part of who we are. It came with its perks of creating strong community with others, but also was draining at times.

In response to our seemingly endless involvements, we were asked, “Why are you doing this?” or “How do you feel comfortable constantly putting yourself out there?” For many people, being involved – which often includes speaking, creating, etc. – is far outside the comfort zone. Yet, for both of us, that space became our comfort zone. The reality is that it was much easier to avoid the bigger questions about life and the future by flooding days with the activities and tasks that come with spreading yourself thin.

Constantly living in this type of environment created a transitional shift in the origination of the expectations we found ourselves under. Looking back, here’s how it happens: it starts from the gratification received when you are able to help others and find success. From there, you begin to chase that feeling and sometimes find yourself chasing more and more of those experiences, almost like an addiction. You surround yourself with people who push you and begin to expect success and involvement. Conversations look like “You would be great in this leadership role,” or “We could use your help on this.” Then, without knowing, that shift happens and suddenly all those expectations begin to come from your own mind, instead of the minds of people around you.

 

When setting high expectations for ourselves, we allowed others to do the same for us. Those high expectations turned into not wanting to let others down…then transformed into an identity we created for ourselves that others believed. By the end of our college career, we created reputations for ourselves as “highly involved” students or “leaders” in organizations. Honestly, it didn’t matter what our reputations were. What stuck out is that we got to a point where we weren’t starting fresh with everything we did. Our reputation in the small bubble of our universities was something that stuck with us.

It’s Okay to Not Know 

After four years of being a student at our universities, we were pretty confident about ourselves, our abilities, and what we knew about our environment. It was easy to feel great about who we are and where we were at. If we weren’t sure about something, we at least had the connections to help us find an answer out in a relatively short amount of time. But in the work world, this isn’t the case, especially as you start out.

We believe it is often the relationships that provided that confidence, replicating that in the workspace takes much more time and effort. It is easy to think you have lost the network that you relied on for so many different things in school, and while that’s obviously not the case, that network just isn’t as specifically tied to your day-to-day activities and responsibilities. It’s a humility check to go from being “in the know” to saying “I don’t know” seemingly 100 times a day.

As you begin your first job, you will soon realize that you don’t know as much as you thought you did. You’ll realize that you need to lean on your manager, peers, and other resources more than you ever imagined you would need to. You’ll need to admit when you don’t know the answer to something or how to do a task, and you must ask for help when you need it. It will be a big reality check for you and you’ll feel silly and stupid…but here’s the important factor: everyone has to start somewhere. You don’t have to be perfect at what you’re doing, you just have to start. Embrace this time in your career as a chance to ask any and all of the questions. The further you get into your career, the less acceptable it is to ask the basic questions, so take advantage of this time now.

Although we have a lot to learn as newbies, we must remember that we’re already bringing a lot to the table as we start our jobs. Our college experiences shaped us into who we are, and using all our tools in our toolboxes is imperative in creating our brands and reputations as young professionals. In the very beginning of our careers, we have found that using our intuition as one of those tools is incredibly valuable. As you start out, you find yourself questioning your abilities and confidence, but when you focus on removing some of your worry and trusting your gut, you become equipped to reason your way through problems you have no experience with. The thing to remember here is that anxiety takes over and ruins intuition. If you find yourself thinking all the experience you gained in college doesn’t directly apply to your situation, take a step back and allow those experiences to influence your thinking. In other words, instead of guessing or shooting in the dark, try using your experiences and context to pull on your intuition to guide you to the right answer. Doing this helps you transform moments of uncertainty into valuable learning opportunities.

As you feel that unpredictability, remember that you are not expected to be able to hit the ground sprinting toward the finish line. If you feel there is an expectation of that, it may be coming from you and you must take a step back to allow yourself the opportunity to learn at a healthy pace. Understand that you admitting you don’t know something is so much more admirable than claiming you know an answer and it’s obvious you have no idea what you’re talking about. Admitting when you’re wrong or unsure is how you gain respect and trust. Take advantage of those opportunities in your early career as much as possible.

One of the most important pieces of advice that we can pass along is that growth and success depends not on always having the right answers but rather always having the right questions to ask. We encourage you to keep trying, be persistent, and embrace the uncertainty like it’s a gift.

Does My Work Even Matter? 

In college, it could be easy to see the impact of the work you were doing or how much effort you put into things. You received grades as a result of what effort you put into each class every semester, and you got closure at the end of the semester about how that panned out.

In your career, you won’t always know how things worked out – whether it’s a conversation with a customer on the phone or it’s a big presentation to your managers. You don’t get a grade on your day-to-day jobs when you have some sort of autonomy or trust in what you’re doing, and it can feel discouraging sometimes. You might not produce results from what you do for months or years down the road from when you put the work into it. Sometimes you find yourself craving the feedback that was almost constant in your life not long before.

Understand that you’re not only working for the short-term in your job, but you’re working for the long-term, and sometimes it’s tough to see what that looks like. Keep putting the work into it and it will pay off. You’re not only working for your position, company, or organization, but you’re working on building your career and reputation. If you do the small things every day, your results in the long run will be astounding.

Building a reputation in college was easy – whether good or bad. Sometimes it could take one night, one job, or one event. This created an expectation that it would always be this way, that you could reach that comfortable, safe, ‘big fish in a little pond’ feeling very quickly. You could also understand your “why” relatively quickly because of the quick returns on what you were doing – event participation, fundraising success, social media shares, etc.. Achieving this reputation and fulfillment as a young professional, is an entirely different feat altogether. It’s easy to feel lost and like what you’re doing doesn’t matter, so patience and persistence are key. You might not know what you’re doing, but as long as you’re trying and searching to figure it out for the long-term, you’re doing it right. Rachel Hollis explains it as, “Success is the difference between choosing what you want right now and what you want most.”

There are going to be things that you’re asked to do that you’re not sure what they are, what they mean, why you’re doing them, or how to do it…and you just do it anyway. You won’t know until you try. You can do it…we know you can.

Here’s an excellent video of Simon Sinek talking about young people and making an impact in their work…check it out here (and go to ~8:30).

What If’s and What’s Next 

Per any college student’s experience, the dreaded “What are you doing after graduation?” question filled most conversations during our senior years and thereafter. No matter what your answer is, or if you don’t have a specific answer yet, there is uncertainty that seeps into the conversation. There are so many unanswered questions that a recent graduate considers about his/her future, and it can be almost crippling at times.

The uncertainty of a future career hardly compares to a college experience. In college, you typically can lay out much of your class schedule for your four-year program at the start of it. Sure, things come up along the way and can throw that plan off-course, but there’s a pretty solid blueprint for your college career laid out for you when you begin as a student.

As a new professional, there are no defined timelines or curricula. There are no syllabi or certain number of credit hours you have to take. There aren’t a particular number of meetings or events you have to go to each semester. Your career is totally and fully your responsibility, with no definition outside of what you give it.

The uncertainty of what is ahead of you and what you’re getting yourself into is massive. There are question marks in every direction, and you never know what to expect.

You can continuously think about “What if” scenarios about how your job is going to go or how long you’ll be in your current position. You can ponder whether or not you took the right job offer or if this will truly set you up for success. However, this will get you nowhere. One of the biggest lessons a new professional can learn is that nothing is certain in your career. Your company could be acquired, your job could move teams, you may be asked to move, or you could be offered another job or promotion completely unexpectedly. As easy as it was to anticipate what’s coming next in college, it’s almost impossible to guess what will happen next in your career.

We’ve found the only way to begin to tackle this is to embrace uncertainty – allow yourself to think about what may happen and where the future may take you but don’t live there. It is much too easy to lock yourself into one path because you are scared of how your perfect goals may change. For both of us, we had this set plan in place about where we’d like to be and what we’d like to do. Both of our worlds were rocked by unexpected opportunities falling into place – some we said “yes” to, others we didn’t. But we both took huge risks on what we’re doing despite what we always thought we wanted in our lives. And to this day, we couldn’t be more proud of ourselves for taking the jump. We transformed our “What if this doesn’t work out for me or isn’t the right choice?” to “What if I learn a lot from this and this is more than I ever thought it could be?” Change your hesitation and doubt into belief and hope in the uncertainty, and your life will change.

The best advice we can give you is to trust the process. Aim for your long term goals and take steps that will help you end up there. Continue to work hard, show up (even when you don’t feel like it), and show you care. As long as you do that, others will notice and you’ll be set in your career. Get comfortable being uncomfortable. It’ll all work out in the end as it should.

Putting it All Together

It’s easy to be overwhelmed by the transition from school to career, but as long as you stay humble, show up consistently, and embrace stepping out of your comfort zone, you’ll be set up for success.

If you are in this place of transition now, then you have just left a time in your life where there was always an answer, always a best or more efficient way to do things. That perspective has been forged into your mind over the last few years and the idea of having to change such a basic and fundamental perspective on life is scary. We believe avoiding that confrontation or refusing to address how it will change you and your plans can lead to many of the problems that plague young professionals.

Change is the name of the game here, and we’ve found that during this time in life, it helps – and may even be necessary to have something in your life that will not change. For some that is a relationship, or family – for us it has been faith and community. Using that faith as an anchor has granted us hope and comfort in embracing uncertainty in other areas of my life. Falling back on your community will also make the shifts easier, as it has been for us. There’s nothing better than a good friend listening to you and reminding you that it will all work out the way it should.

Friends, as you begin or continue your career journey, we encourage you to keep showing up, work hard, get comfortable being uncomfortable, and enjoy the ride. Work is work, but work is also life. Smile at the little things and look for the best in others, yourself, and your work. Bring the best you to your work every day, and great things will happen. This is a tough time, but it’s one of the most special and impactful seasons of your life. You can do it. We believe in you.