In many ways, I am the cookie-cutter example of a person who struggles with saying “no,” setting boundaries, and doing things for myself. I love to spend time with and help other people, and many times, that leaves me in a place of being utterly exhausted, tremendously busy, or even physically sick. My “plate” has been full of so many things for a really long time. Although I love it most of the time, it can feel very heavy for me, and even for the people closest to me.

I have been making intentional efforts to get better in these areas and to grow in what I call “life balance.” I use this phrase more than “work-life balance” since I believe that work is a big part of your life so it shouldn’t be separated from what you call the “rest of your life.” As examples from the past few years, I’ve been very intentional about not answering work texts/calls after a certain time of day, scheduling at least one day a week where I can relax after work with little to no commitments so I can rest, and being present when with others rather than checking my phone to show their importance to me. I’ve even told myself that I will not answer “busy” when people ask me how I’m doing because I don’t think it’s an acceptable answer. I’m certainly not perfect in any of these areas, but those have been steps I’ve chosen to make to ensure that my life is feeling full from the right things – not literally all of the things.

That leads me to a new year with a refreshed priority in ensuring that what I choose to spend time doing is actually what I want to do, rather than just what is expected or asked of me, what I feel obligated to do, or what is going to run me into the ground with a hectic schedule. For a Enneagram Type 2 and people-pleaser like myself, this is extremely challenging since I have built my life around what I can do for other people. But since the end of 2021, something has been stirring in my heart nudging me that I’m too busy doing too many things and quite frankly, it’s not a sustainable way to live. So as a new year approached a few months ago, I decided that I was going to be purposeful in living a more balanced life – choosing me more than I have previously.

Here’s what that has meant and does mean for me in my reflection and preparation for 2022:

• I was going to not just set goals to help my future self, I am going to stick to them.
• I was not going to spend every evening doing something for others, I am going to allow myself time to rest or do something that I want to do.
• I was not going to let my FOMO make decisions for me, I am going to choose to stand my ground rather than say “yes” to everything.
• I was not going to make time for the things that don’t really matter to me, I am going to prioritize the things and people that mean the most.

Since this concept of balance can feel incredibly challenging to stick to, I wanted to give two practical examples in hopes that maybe you relate to in this struggle. These are the two main ways I am going to prioritize better and carry meaningful balance in my life in 2022:

1. Once I decide what’s most important to me, I am going to let life flow and not feel guilty about it. As I read a lot about in Christy Wright’s book, Take Back Your Time, (I’d recommend it!) life balance is all about doing the right things at the right time. Sometimes your family life is going to need all of your time and attention. There are seasons when your work is more demanding than others. There are times when your spouse or partner needs more support from you. All of these things are okay – in seasons and waves. You can’t be all things to all people, however, once you decide what is most important to you and you understand what needs most of your attention, time, and love in that season of life, you can let life flow accordingly.
   • This has become very evident and powerful to me so far in 2022 based on what I’ve been doing with my family and how that needed to be the focus for some amount of time for me. There will be other times of the year when my full-time job will become more demanding outside of work hours. What my goal is to communicate those demanding times/needs to those around me, invest in what I care most about whenever I can, and to lose the guilt associated with not being everything to everyone (because it really is okay).
2. I am going to set goals for myself (that my future self will thank me for) and I will stick to them. Truthfully, I am such an ideas person. I love to brainstorm solutions to things and have creative freedom. In the past few years since I got out of school, without the structure of the classes and organizations I was in, I have struggled to stick to things that I wanted to work towards. I’ve been great at setting goals and somewhat starting them…and then fizzle off. That was either because I lost motivation, the goals felt too overwhelming, or I made excuses to not stick with it. This year I have decided that I am going to actually put some intense work into breaking my goals down into small steps, using others to help me be accountable, and making significant progress that I will be very proud of at the end of this year.
   • A very small example is that I’ve actually written in my professional development plan with my employer & manager that I will use all of my comp time (I accrue a lot of days for weekends in my role) and schedule more PTO days in 2022 since I lost a lot of them in the past few years from not using them. It sounds simple, but if I don’t prioritize taking time off and resting, no one else is going to tell me that they don’t need me at work. There’s always more to get done in any job. I am making big efforts in allowing myself to step away, even when I feel like I’m most needed at work (disclaimer: gratefully, I am not in a job where people are at risk when I step away).
   • I’ve had goals for years about writing consistently on this blog because I know more content will help my future career interests in speaking & writing, but I’ve always found an excuse to not do it or I’ve felt very overwhelmed by the goals I’ve set. Finally, I think I’ve come up with a plan that is both manageable and exciting for me – once a month posts with topics outlined for each post at the beginning of the year. I’ll rotate between topics that excite me professionally and what I’m working/reflecting on personally. And for the first time in over 5 years, I’m thrilled about the goals I’ve set, I feel great about how I can actually make time for them – no matter what season I’m in, and motivated from the encouragement and support of others. This makes a huge difference in how I feel about my current and future self, and I can’t wait to see where I end up at the end of the year.

Again, I’m not perfect in these areas, but I sincerely believe that I’m at a different place this year than I’ve ever been as a young professional and that feels good. And here’s a huge disclaimer: I totally understand that there are seasons of life where you are going to be unreasonably busy. Life will demand a lot from you if you’re a new parent, covering more than one job at work, balancing a heavy volunteer commitment, or anything else that life throws your way. These philosophies are general outlooks on life and principles to guide you to a way you want to live in small ways that will make a big difference. If your life is overwhelming in an area or two right now and you feel like balance is unattainable, you’re not alone. Maybe just think about one goal for yourself you can work on in the season to put a little bit into the cup you’re pouring out of. It will make a huge difference. The good news for you (if you’re feeling that way) and all of us, really, is that we can make even the smallest of steps in order to help us get to the place that we want to be in terms of managing time and prioritizing pieces of our lives…even if we can’t get to that complete end result until another season of life.

I hope that my small examples can help you feel like you can make a tiny move in the right direction. And I really hope that most of your life is something that energizes you and excites you – not something that always depletes you. Your future self and the people in your life will thank you for making strides to live the fullest (full of the best, most meaningful things) life you can.