Growth is one of my personal values, and that’s why the end of each year is one of my favorite seasons. December and January are when I reflect most on the year behind me, how it’s helped me become a better version of myself (or now), and what I’d like to focus on in the year ahead. There are tons of ways that you can do this, and I outlined them in my December 2020 reflection post. Here are some of my other favorite ways:

• Asking myself & writing down the answers to some questions like my friend, Coach Kiah, speaks about on her podcast
• Simply making a list of all of your favorite memories and largest lessons from the year
• Taking a trip down memory lane on my social media to see the things I was posting, saying, or sharing a year ago and reflecting on how that may be different or similar to me today
• Conversing with a friend about the year and how each of you have grown in the last twelve months

In addition to those ways, I also like to be creative. Who said that we can’t have fun in reflecting on the last year or any experience we have? So this year I’m taking a new spin on my annual reflection and adding what has become a very important American music-listener tradition…Spotify Wrapped.

If you’re not familiar with this, here’s a short explanation: every year, Spotify releases each individual music-listener’s top songs, artists, and podcasts that they listened to over the previous year. On the day that Spotify releases this information all at once, listeners love to share their top five songs & artists, and total minutes listened. It’s become a big deal over the years, and other streaming services have started to follow this trend since Spotify started it years ago.

I don’t know about you, but music is a very important part of my life. At any part of the day, you can usually find me listening to music, whether I am at home, in my car, at work, or taking a walk. Everyone’s relationship with music is different; mine is very focused on lyrics and connection. I find a bit of myself in the music when an artist puts the words to a feeling I’ve never been able to describe in the most comforting way, and I become more connected to the world, God, and others by being reminded that there’s more to life than me.

With all of that said, my Spotify Wrapped is a great indicator of my life, what’s on my mind, and what’s important to me. For this year’s annual reflection, I’m calling out my top five songs, my favorite lyrics from each song, and why I love those lyrics / why I believe the song made it to my 2022 top five. And because I love Brene Brown’s question for her guests on her podcast, I will wrap up with one sentence that explains how this lineup describes me. 

To be transparent with you, I became nervous writing this because my music says a lot about what I’m honestly feeling and going through, but I think authenticity and vulnerability are where the magic is in life. No matter if you share this with others or now, I encourage you to join in the fun & reflection and do this as well!

1. Humble Quest by Maren Morris

“Haven’t looked up in a while
Been biting my tongue behind a smile
Falling on swords that I can’t see
Poison my well on the daily
Got easier not to ask
Just kept hitting my head on the glass
I was so nice ’til I woke up
I was polite ’til I spoke up
I’m on a humble quest
And damn, I do my best
Not gonna hold my breath
‘Cause I still haven’t found it yet
No, I still haven’t found it yet”

Humble Quest, Maren Morris

I love this song and album by Maren Morris. I connected deeply with these lyrics this year as I’ve been doing a lot of personal work to figure out what’s most important to me (which is so challenging) and then setting boundaries to protect those things. I think this shows the journey of a young woman being polite and a people pleaser since that’s what we’re told to do, realizing that won’t let her shine or grow as she should, and breaking out of that…figuring it out one step at a time with a lot of humility forced along the way. I still am on that journey and haven’t found it yet either, Maren. 

2. Human by Cody Johnson

“I thought by now I’d have it figured out
How not to make the easy thing so hard to do
I bet that I’d be further down this road
If I could read the signs that point me to the truth”

Human, Cody Johnson

This song’s first four lines (above) hit me in the gut every time I hear it. Five, ten, and fifteen years ago, I thought I’d have life planned out and would be living that plan to a “T.” Every day, I learn that no one has it figured out. We’re all just learning as we go and trying to understand what the / our truth is. And my goodness, it’s hard. But we’re all human. And I love his spin on showcasing this in an honest song.

3. LAX by Jake Owen

“Bored in a plane back to Tennessee
I wonder if she’s ever gonna think about me”

LAX, Jake Owen

In complete transparency (and I give you permission to laugh a little because I did)…this song helps me calm down and fall asleep when I don’t feel well. I listen to it on repeat until I fall asleep, which makes this incredibly appropriate for 2022 since I faced a lot of health issues and challenges. This song helped me get through a few days & evenings when I physically felt awful.

Aside from that, these two specific lines resonate with me because I play the “what if” game a lot, especially when I’m on a plane and have ample time to think. It’s good to look back and reflect, but it’s not healthy to play out scenarios in your head about what could’ve been. This year has been a battle of me hoping and wishing some things were different, and then realizing that I can’t change most of the circumstances I have faced. Next year, I hope to be better at mentally turning off the “what ifs” in my head.

4. Waiting For You by Russell Dickerson

“There were highs, there were lows
There were stories that I wrote before you
But they all ended up the same, yeah, yeah
I lay in bed, bow my head, didn’t know that I was praying for you
And now I thank God every day
‘Cause I finally found the piece that I was missing all along”

Waiting for You, Russell Dickerson

Not only is this song super catchy and fun, but it’s incredibly sweet. I feel wildly lucky to have such a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend, and this song describes my feelings about him and more broadly, about the past several years of my life. It demonstrates that throughout life’s mountains and valleys, we make plans that don’t work out. This isn’t always because of us or what we do, but it’s usually because of God’s plans and timing that we can’t understand. We spend lots of life hoping and praying for something that never comes true, and what I appreciate dearly about God is that He gives us something better than we could ever imagine, even if it isn’t what we originally hoped for. This is how I feel about lots of areas of my life right now – although I never thought this is where I’d be or who I’d be with, I am so thankful that God put me here with these people…especially my boyfriend, like the artist describes about his wife in this song.

5. ‘Til You Can’t by Cody Johnson

“Don’t wait on tomorrow ’cause tomorrow may not show
Say your sorries, your I-love-yous, ’cause man you never know
If you got a chance, take it, take it while you got a chance
If you got a dream, chase it, ’cause a dream won’t chase you back
If you’re gonna love somebody
Hold ’em as long and as strong and as close as you can
‘Til you can’t“

‘Til You Can’t, Cody Johnson

This track hit me like a ton of bricks the first time I heard it. It is a beautiful representation of how to turn gratitude into action in your life and to celebrate the best parts of life. I learn more and more that life is incredibly short and we should go for what we want and love while we can. I say “I love you” to others more now than I ever have, I’m actively pursuing my dreams one small step at a time, and I spend more time cultivating joy in my everyday life than I’ve given myself permission to in years. I love how simply this represents some of life’s most important things – your relationships, your dreams, and your joy.

What this top 5 says about me:
I’m learning how to be self-compassionate when I fall and how to be strong enough to stand back up for myself and what’s most important to me.

I hope you enjoyed this type of self-reflection. And if you didn’t, that’s okay too! I hope you find a way to reflect on the last twelve months in whatever way resonates most with you.

Thanks for being a part of my journey in 2022. Here’s to a new year full of learning one step at a time!