“You could become friends with a wall,” Alyssa, my friend from FLEX told me tonight. “Shut up!” was my immediate reaction, because I always get teased for how friendly I am. However, she continued that it’s a good thing, and I know it is. As you know, I’m what some would call a “people person” who thrives off of her relationships with people and could easily spend 4 hours talking to the same person about life, its questions, or simply what I ate for breakfast that day. There’s nothing I love more than making a new friend or having a connection with someone. It’s evident that I love people because they’re what I center my life around. I’ve worked with people throughout my life and want to help people in my future as a career.

It’s really cool to be a people person because my relationships make every day a great one. But recently I’ve been pondering this lifestyle for me and have come to find out that being a people person isn’t always a walk in the park. Being an extrovert with a sincere care and appreciation for people can make life tough at times, and I’m sure a lot of people have a similar problem.

For me, my top five strengths as determined by StrengthsQuest are includer, positivity, developer, learner and woo (winning others over). Now if you add up all five of these characteristics, talents or “strengths,” you get someone who loves people, to learn about them, who tries to help others see the best in themselves and someone who never wants someone to feel like an outsider. Sure, all of these characteristics are great and I get complimented for them, but like I said, it’s not that easy being so into everything all of the time.

So why am I like this? I guess you could say that I love a sense of community. And not to go all “COMM 1014: Intro to Communications Studies” on this blog post, but according to a theory (and what seems to be common sense), people long for inclusion. They want to feel welcome, and that holds true to most of the human population. I’m no exception to this.

I came to Virginia Tech braced ready to be apart of one of the greatest communities out there, the Hokie community. I came from an extremely supportive group of agriculturalists in Maryland, and they made home feel even more like a home. I’ve had so many different roles throughout my life that I always have viewed communities as separate things. One community here, one there, and so on.

When I got to Blacksburg, there was so much potential for me to be in tons of communities. There’s Greek life, sport clubs, Student Government Association (SGA), agricultural organizations, and the list goes on. I was overwhelmed with so many possibilities in front of me.

My first semester, I pledged to the Dairy Club at Virginia Tech and fell in love with how dedicated the students are to protecting and promoting such an important agricultural industry. I also applied for a heavily competitive group in the SGA, called FLEX or Freshman Leadership Experience. 229 people applied for 34 spots, and I was blessed to have been chosen to be a member of the FLEX Class of 2017. The program is hard to explain, but we make the program what we want it to be. We’ve participated in SGA events, from lobbying for VT in Richmond to getting people to fill out a survey about our campus, and we’ve been doing different service projects all year long. The other 33 freshmen and our two directors are phenomenal people and I’m unbelievably grateful for this year with them.

That was my first semester. Then springtime rolled around and I applied for a few groups that I was super interested in. I didn’t think I’d get everything I applied for, so I wasn’t too concerned. But now, I’m pledging to Alpha Zeta, the honors ag fraternity, am a CALS (College of Ag & Life Sciences) Ambassador, a Student Alumni Associate and a member of Collegiate FFA. I know what you’re thinking…what happened to doing less, Elizabeth?

Honesty hour (because if I’m telling you something you already know, why read this?): It’s not incredibly easy for me to say this, but I don’t really know where I am. I’m a member of all these “communities” and I’m trying to figure out where my head is. I’m lucky enough to have friends all across campus, but I don’t have a consistent friend group. My communities are all separate, like I’ve always viewed them. I’m on my own although I’m surrounded by exceptional people daily. That’s why being a people person is hard. I fall in love with all of these organizations and their members, and in the process, I’m left alone. It’s not that I don’t have friends, but there’s no bridge between the ones I have. I need to find balance in my friends. I had this problem in high school too, and even before that. (By no means is this a pity party. I wanted to be honest about my life and where I am since I have such strong support from people in my life.) Investing so much into other people can be hard on a person, and it never clicked with me until I got here and realized that I have 3 best friends here in Blacksburg, none of whom are associated with each other.

I know that all of these organizations are ones that I want to whole-heartedly commit myself to, and I know that I can honor my commitment to each of them, but I’m trying to figure out where my priorities are. I know that I can figure it out, and it’s only a matter of time before I do.

Don’t feel bad for me or where I am. It’s not that this is a horrible stage of my life, I’m just learning as I go. I’m excited about my future and all of these special groups to which I belong. There’s nothing sad here, but I’m writing because I want you to take away something from this. This is my PSA suggesting that you take a minute once in a while and find yourself. That might be through service to others, it might be through a really cool class you’re taking, but step back and figure out who you truly are. If you’re involved in a group or anything, but something’s not connecting with it or in your life, think about it and evaluate it. That’s why I deactivated my Facebook (along with avoiding procrastination and just wanting a break from the cyber world) and it’s why I’m trying to see where my priorities are. You’re the only you there is. Make sure you’re on the right path to your future.