If you know me, you may have noticed over the years that I like to see the bright side in a dark situation, or that positivity is one of my top strengths, according to StrengthsQuest. I haven’t always been optimistic, but I think through all of the hard times and trials I’ve had over the years, I’ve learned that being positive through struggling times makes it easier in most cases.

However, right now, I’m thinking a little bit differently. This semester at Virginia Tech has been very hard for me with rigorous classes, an incredibly full plate out of the classroom, health concerns, and just a lot of stuff going on in my life at home and in Blacksburg. And when I say, “it’s been hard,” I mean getting through these past few months has been one of the hardest experiences I’ve ever gone through in my life. But a few people and realizations along the way have kept me going, and they’re the reason I’m writing this.

As someone with a very firm mindset of optimism and believing that “everything happens for a reason,” I got a wake-up call this semester. It may sound negative (warning: it actually does), but it’s true, and sometimes the flat-out truth is what we need to hear.

An optimist will tell you that everything will be okay in most circumstances, but what I’ve learned this semester, is that it’s not. It’s not always going to “be alright” or “work out” (for the best, or at all) in the end. Every bad situation will not be easily resolved, if resolved at all, and there’s nothing that we can do about it.

I could name too many situations when I’ve pretended that something that isn’t okay was going to turn out okay, just because I said it would and because I had that mentality. I tried to manipulate my thinking that all is good in the world, which is just as unhealthy as being extremely negative. Taking that even further, in hard times I’ve even told my friends that it’ll be okay when the situations absolutely weren’t going to turn out as he/she/we hoped for. Looking back, I really wish that I hadn’t done that to myself or to my friends.

Now I’m not saying that being positive is a waste. I think positivity is essential, but like with anything, in moderation. Be positive to get you through a tough day, to help a friend out, or when trying new things, but don’t be positive to escape from things that God is doing in your life to teach you a lesson. There will be pain and there will be struggle in your life, and there’s nothing you can do about it except for coming to terms with it. God has a plan for you, just wait and see what it is. The fact that it may not eventually all “be okay” is actually “okay,” because that’s just how life works. It’s not all sunshine, but it definitely isn’t all storms, either.

What I’ve also learned during this hard time for me is that there will always be something tough going on for you in your life. Life is hard, no matter how corny or touché that sounds, it’s true. The hardship will come in different ways, and sometimes it will appear easier to deal with than it does at others. But it’s no secret that life is difficult, and it doesn’t get easier as time passes. What’s important to recognize, however, is that life is exactly how you deal with those hardships and what you make out of them.

When dealing with this tough semester, I’ve seen what “struggle” can look like. It doesn’t all go by the same name or bear the same baggage, but it’s all there, and it’s there for a lot of people. It’s ignorant to go through the day and think everything is perfect and everyone’s lives are great, because that’s probably (and definitely) not true.

But by going through this hard semester, I’ve realized this about myself and about my time on Earth here in general. I’m glad I can say that I know life will stink at times (yes, that’s really weird to hear…especially coming from me), because it’s true. I don’t want to be blinded by my idea of what life should be rather than what it is. The struggles I’ve come across this semester have taught me a lot about myself, especially about where my priorities lie.

Understanding where to go or what steps to take after coming to terms with these hardships actually makes me excited. I’m eager to clean up my life in areas where I need to do so, and I’m excited to fall more in love with what I’m doing on a daily basis. I read the signs from God that things needed to change in my life, so I’m grateful for the tough semester I’ve had. Otherwise, I’d continue thinking everything was “good enough” when it really wasn’t.

I didn’t ask for a hard semester or for a rough few months, but without those lows, I wouldn’t understand the true highs in my life. That’s what being an optimist is about- the good and the bad- not just the good.