At the end of each year, I love to reflect on what I’ve learned and what got me to the final days of December. For several reasons, I couldn’t be more relieved that 2023 is about to be behind us. Life threw several curveballs at me this year, ranging from death in the family and lost relationships to a new family member and strengthened friendships. If I’m honest, I didn’t expect most of it, and I didn’t want a lot of it.

Although I am sad when I think about much of 2023, I am overwhelmingly proud of myself for getting through it and the person I’ve become in the valleys. Because of this year and what I’ve learned, my life will be better, my faith is stronger, and my relationships are deeper. And since there’s a lot to be thankful for and proud of in 2023, I want to give homage to what helped me become who I am today through the storms.

Like a nicely placed television advertisement or radio commercial, here’s my version of “2023 was brought to you by…” with all of the things that have helped me get here with a few vital lessons at the end. Consider this my list of “unofficial” sponsors of mine in 2023 (in no particular order). I hope you enjoy and that you get time to reflect on your year in the coming weeks.

• Quotes / mantras: These phrases brought me peace amidst the chaos. I repeated them to myself, in conversations with friends, and in my journal. They helped me make sense of what I couldn’t understand (and still don’t).
  • “Take it one day at a time. Even if that means taking it hour by hour.”
  • “Healing is a daily choice.”
  • “If I were to accept this situation as reality, what would my next steps be?”
  • “I have to do what’s best for me. It doesn’t matter what other people think.”
  • “God will give you what’s best for you.”
  • “How can I choose to live a healthy, healed, and holy life?”
  • “Although this isn’t what I wanted or expected my life to look like, I am okay here and can make the most of this.”
  • “God didn’t cause your pain, but He isn’t wasting it.”
• Books: These books inspired me, brought me hope, and guided me into next steps when I couldn’t see the ground in front of me.
  • Forgiving What You Can’t Forget by Lysa TerKeurst.
  • Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey.
  • Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom.
  • How It Feels to Find Yourself: Navigating Life’s Changes with Purpose, Clarity, and Heart by Meera Lee Patel.
  • Your New Now: Finding Strength and Wisdom When You Feel Stuck Where You Are by Nicki Koziarz.
  • Surrender Your Story: Ditch the Myth of Control and Discover Freedom in Trusting God by Tara Sun.
  • The Next Right Thing: A Simple, Soulful Practice for Making Life Decisions by Emily P. Freeman.
  • Draw the Circle: The 40 Day Prayer Challenge by Mark Batterson.
  • Rediscovering Jesus by Matthew Kelly.
  • Good Enough Job: Reclaiming Life from Work by Simone Stolzoff.
  • Seeing Beautiful Again (devotional) by Lysa TerKeurst.
• Podcasts: These podcasts helped me make sense of grief, gave me tangible concepts in developing myself that improved my life, and grounded me in faith in a time that God was the only one who could give me what I needed.
  • That Sounds Fun by Annie F. Downs (especially her “Summer Lovin’” series).
  • The Mel Robbins Podcast by Mel Robbins.
  • WHOA That’s Good Podcast by Sadie Robertson Huff.
  • Re:Thinking Podcast by Adam Grant.
  • A Bit of Optimism by Simon Sinek.
• Music: These artists put my feelings, thoughts, and experiences into words that I couldn’t. They kept me going and gave me a sense of joy that only music could provide.
  • Megan Moroney.
  • Maverick City Music.
  • Chris Stapleton.
  • Jenna Paulette.
  • Elevation Worship.
  • Luke Combs.
  • Flatland Cavalry.
  • Kelsea Ballerini.
  • Jonas Brothers.
  • Cody Johnson.
  • Shania Twain.
• Habits / rituals: These routines legitimately changed my life. My health physically and mentally made a 180 degree turn. Although many days I couldn’t complete much else, I at least did these things and it gave me a sense of consistency and purpose. This section alone is what helped me get through the hardest of times.
  • Walking for at least 15 minutes every day.
  • Drinking/eating less artificial sugar and minimal caffeine.
  • Starting my day with intention by writing down three things from the prior day that gave me joy and identifying what will make me feel purposeful, connected, and healthy today (one item for each).
  • Writing a list of 10 things I’m grateful for, no matter how tough it is to come up with.
  • Journaling my thoughts before going to bed to get my thoughts out of my racing mind.
• The lessons I’ll take with me forever because of 2023 (still a work in progress 🙂): These learnings are what prove that 2023 was not a waste and that I am stronger because of it. Although this is a very small representation of the full picture, I think they sum up the most important ones that carried me through it all.
  • I am worthy of love in all types of relationships – friends, romantically, family, and at work. Even more importantly, I am worthy of love without question. This year, after facing an unexpected life change, I received love from friends in a way I never accepted before and people showed up in incredible ways for me. I am so grateful for that. I believe now more than ever that I am not a “plan B” for someone, I have no room for friendships that are not reciprocal, and I have no tolerance for people who aren’t kind or respectful.
  • My mental and physical health are my top priority. They must be treated with the same level of discipline and importance on a daily basis. After traveling for nine straight months, my physical and mental health were at a lower point than I have ever experienced. I made several changes that turned my health around. It takes consistency, discipline, and hard work to take care of yourself, but it is always worth it.
  • This isn’t the whole story, it’s just a chapter or moment of it. The hard times are not the full story – there’s always something bigger at play. Although this year and storm have felt like I can’t see out of it, I know it will end. This might be a chapter but there’s redemption coming. Jesus is proof.
  • Grace upon grace. I can’t get through a day without giving myself grace in some capacity, and this is most important during a time of significant grief. I must remind myself that there’s no simple, easy way to get through a tough season and I have to let go of expectations for myself. And I must extend this to others because we’re all broken and struggling in some way.

I’m looking forward to 2024 with hope. Here’s what I’m eager for in the new year:

• Building community in new places and through new avenues
• Investing in people who choose me
• Being creative with my time off of work
• Determining what I really want / what God wants for me and building my life around that

As I was reviewing photos from this year, I found this picture I took on June 8, 2022. The prayer is my favorite and I forgot I took this photo after writing it in my notebook. Not only does this prayer feel poignant in my life right now, June 8, 2023 was particularly hard for me. This feels like God’s reminder that there is beauty here, no matter what, and plenty of good to come. I hope you can feel and experience that in 2024 and beyond.